His eyes twinkle

IMG_1518His eyes twinkle…..

When he giggles,
when he belly laughs with eyes wide open, little tummy convulsing in joy.
when he looks up at something he can’t reach but wants to real bad.
when he sees my little baby hairs taunting him from above, expecting that they will come down and tickle his face (commence more giggling)
when I hold up a spoon full of delicious rice cereal to his mouth
when I make that one clicking noise that he always likes
when his daddy attacks him with his beard and tummy raspberries.

Those eyes are gold. That face is silver. Those laughs are diamonds.

I crave his laugh. Not only does it mean he is happy, it means he feels safe, it means he knows me, trusts me, loves me.

I look at him and I see my husband, the one “whom my soul loves” (Song of Solomon 3:4). I see my whole world. I see two sets of DNA come together to create this beautiful, adorable, (very often cranky and fussy), but perfectly designed little human being.

I cannot help but be in awe. I kiss his cheek, I say I love you, I dance him around singing softly in his ear…but it doesn’t feel enough to express to him what he means to me, how much I long for his happiness and success in life. How I desire so strongly for him to live a full life, to realize what grace and faith mean, what the hope of eternity means. How much I want to protect him from evil and hardship.

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Call it cliche’ but it’s hard not to draw comparisons to God, my Heavenly Father’s love.
My love for little Pascal is so deep…how much “Deeper is the Father’s Love for Us”? My DNA was used to create one life…but God created ALL life, all things…to be part of this is only a glimpse into the unfathomable Love of God. Getting to relate, to better understand this love (but never fully) is such a gift.

“God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life” John 3:16

MOREOVER,

“I have been crucified with Christ; It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered himself up for me.” Galations 2:20

That’s right, God loves us so much that while we were STILL sinful, he sent his ONLY son to die and take away our sin that we might live forever…this is our ONLY hope. More than that, Christ gave HIMSELF up…even though he was fully God (and fully man) he chose to die. There is no greater love.

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God” 1 John 3:1

When I believed, when I accepted Christ as my Saviour, admitted my nothingness and surrendered my life into God’s hands, I became a CHILD of God.

Knowing (or trying to grasp rather) how much greater God’s love for ME as his adopted Child is than my love for Pascal blows.my.mind.

 

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A mother’s love for her child is a very precious thing. I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to experience this.

I pray I remember how much of a blessing it is through all the tantrums and messes and missed naps, because it is easy to forget. As soon as he cracks that smile, though, I melt. I close my eyes for just a second when he lays his tiny hand on mine when I am reading him a book before bedtime, and I breathe it in. I love this little man, this little survivor, this undeserved blessing.

The time is pouring through my fingers like sand, moments are gone before I realize it. I can’t even quite remember the last time he slept on me for hours even though for months that was my entire life…when he was so tiny and sleepy.
He is becoming more and more interactive and fun, and filled to the brim with wonder at the world.
What a grand adventure it is becoming to look at the world through the eyes of a baby.
I pray I bring Glory to God with my time spent raising Pascal. As many mother’s have reminded me “The years go by fast, hang on to the moments”. I’m hanging on as tightly as I can, and looking forward to the ride!

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