If you give a mouse a cookie syndrome…

IMG_4995We all have it in varying degrees and over a whole variety of material/non material things…you know, the “if you give a mouse a cookie syndrome”. See in this favorite children’s book of mine, this mouse gets a cookie…well then, he wants a glass of milk, then a napkin etc. I found myself this past week stopping and realizing I was whining like a certain mouse wanting another thing as soon as I got one, without so much as a pause of thanks for what I had in between my ongoing desires for more.
My little family moved back to our hometown because my husband got a new job. We are now able to “afford” for me to stay home and raise Pascal for the time being…although “afford” means more like, survive compared to some and “flourish” compared to a lot of the world (trying to keep my perspective on the right track). We got a lovely apartment with lots of room, a garage, a lovely porch (haven’t had one in an apartment yet! yay!) and a huge support system and community around us. We are living in a beautiful city right by Lake Michigan, and surrounded by natural areas we can soon explore (which is what my husband and I LOVE to do). I got to get cute things to set up the apartment…you know the typical, new shower curtains and organizational things like baskets, and rugs and curtains and kitchen little ditties and picture frames. The stuff of normal life, but material goods that make a stay at home mom happy because she gets to “nest”, and a husband slightly irritated because they don’t come free :) After all of the organizing (which is continuing) we start talking about gas mileage and my husband desiring a more efficient car (he has a long commute) I immediately start going on adventures with Pascal in my mind in our current car, only to be stopped by my husbands caution that this will not happen right away, or even soon because we need to stabilize our finances. My response is not only purely emotional, but purely selfish. I completely ignore the fact that God has blessed us beyond measure in the past couple weeks and rant about wanting my OWN car and being trapped blah blah blah. It takes me a few minutes, but once I stop and think, I am ashamed of myself. I didn’t even last 2 weeks being happy enough with what I had been given before I wanted MORE. Sure, it is very “normal” for families to have 2 cars…to be able to afford that even if they aren’t “well off”. I felt entitled to that same luxury….but should I feel that way? No. It’s simply not what God has for us right now, and I’m to humble myself and accept the fact that I need to dwell in thanks for as long as I need to over what I have been given. I need to suck it up and ask for help sometimes, and even maybe take the “call and wait till they come to your door” public transit. I need to stop coveting what my neighbor has, because it’s their blessing from the Lord, not mine. No one should feel sorry for me, and I should certainly not feel sorry for myself. It seems as though when the Lord blesses us we always start wanting more. The manna wasn’t good enough for the Israelites after the Lord blessed them with it in Exodus 16 because by Numbers 11 they were lusting after the fish and melons they had in Egypt…after a while free food reigning down from heaven for them every day and being freed from bondage wasn’t good enough just like having EVERYTHING me and my family actually needs and more suddenly isn’t good enough for me. My husband mentioned an article/podcast that he caught that talked about how people don’t actually feel wealthy until they have over 7 million dollars. That a family that has a million dollar income, for instance, still has a need to budget and large purchases still affect them. Essentially, psychologically it takes a LOT of money for us to really feel “secure” and not be wanting more. We ALWAYS want more, and it seems once we get more, it snowballs into further desires for more expensive and more things. I know that I need to keep myself in check, and be prayerful about this even in the little things, and especially in motherhood. This is a lesson to be learned over and over again, just glad for the reminder this week to continue to be PRESENT. be THANKFUL. be HUMBLE. Accept what I have as a gift and not feel ENTITLED. I have truly been blessed beyond measure, and I am so happy to be starting a new chapter of our lives together exactly where Jesus has lead us to be. Comparison is the theif of Joy, but THANKFULNESS…that begets joy again and again.

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