From ISCU to Home

Sometimes they don’t give you much notice. We had about one day’s notice before Pascal came home. He took all his feedings by bottle, was in the open crib, was very healthy and so it was time. I went in the day before he was discharged and watched him during his “car seat test” where he had to sit in his car seat for 90 minutes and not desaturate (breathe ok the whole time). He slept the whole time and passed with flying colors so it was homeward bound for him!

IMG_3714 Michael and I had gone on one last date that weekend, but we went out again that night just for one last hoorah before we became “real parents”. I was super nervous, mostly knowing I was taking home a 5 and a half lb baby with no monitors and I had no nurses to ask questions of or take over if something happened. I thought about carrying him up and down stairs or anywhere and it terrified me. I hadn’t, up until this point, walked anywhere with Pascal, it was pretty much just take him out of his isolette or crib box and sit down with him, then put him back. Once we got to the hospital it was game time, then had a giant box with all his stuff ready for us with a lot of freebies in it (bottles, saline wipes, diapers etc). The moment they took all his cords off and cut his “hugs” tracking tag off was a surreal moment. I held him for the first time like a typical baby, no hardware at all.


IMG_3732 We got our first family photo taken by the nurse, packed up two coolers of my breastmilk that was still in the hospital freezer and set off for our car. Pascal was super well behaved, as he was the entire first month, because at this point he was still a month “premature” and not even full term. He slept in the carseat or sat very peacfully awake, squinting from the sun on the way home and I sat by him staring at him the whole time thinking “This is my baby, i’m driving him home right now….we are literally leaving the hospital with a child….!??” I think patient husband made a joke like “quick lets drive away before they realize he is gone”…like we were breaking him out of jail, ha. Not exactly the “homecoming” drive away experience I imagined would have magically happened 2 days after I gave birth to Pascal on his due date like the other mom’s I knew.

We arrived home to his uncle Jeremy and a house full of baby stuff we didn’t know how to use yet, and infact didn’t use any of it for a month besides his moses basket.


IMG_3747It was a month of bliss (I view it that way now :) ) as Pascal slept probably 20 to 22 hours a day, every day, nestled on one of our chests, or in his moses basket, and could sleep through any amount of noise….like Braveheart fight scene blaring on the TV while doing dishes, Taxi honking outside kind of noise. I snuggled that guy like it was my job (well, it is actually my job to do that now), pumped, and cleaned supplies, and got gloriously used to a false view of what newborn baby care was like..this was the pre-newborn time, and I must say right now I already miss it :) I’ll end with quoting a page I wrote about Pascal’s ISCU stay in his baby book.

“Why your stay at the ISCU was a blessing:
Because it meant that you were in good hands…because I got to heal at home, honestly probably more easily than if you were at home…because we got to learn the basics from expert nurses…because I got to learn that I could take care of you and you weren’t as fragile as I thought…because I got to be truly thankful for how healthy you were for your age compared to a lot of other babies I got to watch around you…because the nurses were sweet and nice to talk to…because it made me rely totally on the Lord for my strength to get through the time of being away from you and being in rough shape healthwise myself…I was very sad and devastated every time I left you, but I got the privileged of being comforted by the Lord and by your wonderful father…because having an ISCU stay with your baby makes you a stronger mom. You’re a survivor baby Pascal. I hope you realize how much the Lord wanted you here in this world. You are loved.”

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