Make Plans, God Laughs….THIS is the beginning

IMG_8298This is happy me a week after all of this went down. Belly pics are useless at this point :)

We were 21/22…married, thinking about our future, and the thought of kids seemed like a distant plan. We wanted to travel, enjoy life together in our new city: Chicago. We had planned to do some hiking, hang out with our awesome dog murphy (rip :( )…and we did! We went to San Fran, and Tahoe, to Door County, WI, Pennsylvania, hiked the Daniel Boone National Forest in KY, visited family in Nashville, frequent trips home to MI. We explored the city, made it our mission to try new breakfast places whenever possible (ok it was MY mission…but he loves breakfast too!) We went to all sorts of festivals, mostly cultural, ate a lot of cupcakes (Sweet Mandy B’s FTW!), tried to find the best irish pubs with the best fish and chips, coffee shopped it up, enjoyed our jobs (ok so I REALLY loved my job), reveled in the Christmas season atmosphere downtown, and had a good time exploring the streets with murphy girl. We got to be really involved in our super awesome church and had hopes to do even more. I didn’t plan for it to end so quickly (2.5 years)…but it did. See that’s the funny thing with planning, it’s truly arbitrary and often times an avenue for being disappointed. I wish now I had been a little more open minded to God’s plan for my married life instead of my own.

I was taking birth control like a good life planning wife, and was very responsible….until I got a sinus infection. I knew that antibiotics could affect it, but surely not for a couple months? Well yes ladies, it does, or if it wasn’t the antibiotics from many weeks prior, it was just miraculous and i really as the 1% in that 99 % effective label because I got a bun put in my little oven and it grew into a half-loaf named Pascal! Truly though, I believe I got pregnant through God’s divine intervention in spite of my planning, and THAT took some getting used to. After patient husband and i found out on a chilly April day we figured we would keep our secret for some time until I saw the doctor a couple times and confirmed everything was ok. Well, God had other plans for that two. Fast forward 1 week to my wonderful late grandfather’s funeral (oh yes, we found out on the day he passed away….but sad and strangely uplifting in hindsight..?) While sitting in my sister’s car in the line of cars about to enter the cemetery for the ceremony I decided to get out of the car to see my currently pregnant sister I hadn’t seen for a long time and use the ladies room while I was there. I hadn’t been feeling well all morning but figured it was just normal. I go to the bathroom to find that my pants are literally filled with blood. (Ok, let’s rewind…I’m pregnant, there isn’t supposed to be blood. I don’t want to tell anyone yet. I’m AT MY GRANDFATHER’S FUNERAL) With everyone in my entire father’s side of the family lined up right outside where the bathroom as I try to quietly get sister #2 to come to the bathroom. Sister #2 (love you!:) isn’t the best under pressure so kinda freaks out and gets sister #1. Ok so now both of my sisters know i’m pregnant (not my plan) and i’m freaking out that maybe i’m not pregnant anymore dealing with emotions that are very opposing (“I didn’t want to be pregnant, but now that I am I don’t want to lose the pregnancy! or do I? NO! I’m scared….how will I know!? I was just getting used to this idea! what is going on!?”) Well, i’m crying and sorta inconsolable, so sisters get husband. Entire family sees my husband come into the bathroom….”insert lots of ideas running through their heads and instant worry on everyone’s face and much murmuring”…So we, and by we I mean I, decide to have someone give me some things to clean up and control the situation and put my coat on and go through with the funeral. Yes, it was very hard to concentrate, but I knew this moment was not replaceable and that there was nothing I could do about what was going on in my body at the time so i powered through. This story could get real long so fast forward to the next day: I call my OBGYN who I hadn’t even seen yet and she tells me to go to the hospital there. After being at the hospital all day with only a couple people knowing, we find out that not only is our baby fully alive and healthy but we got his first picture :) Most people don’t get ultrasound pictures at before 6 weeks but I did! (looking on the bright side) I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot in uterus) and told “not to worry, but to watch it. It probably will go away on it’s own, but it might not and could rupture your placenta.” uhh….i’m worried/not worried/confused, ok! After confirming I had not lost the baby, we decided we had to at least tell our parents because of all the worrying and rumors that was sure to abound. Everything about this first week was unplanned. We didn’t even get to tell our parents on our own terms. All of it was pretty disheartening, and worrying, and unsettling, and well…earth shaking to us. At this point I had no idea what else was to come, but looking back it was just the beginning of quite possibly the craziest year of my life.

This is what life looked like at my work at this time: BEAUTIFUL Fothergilla blooms:

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5 comments on “Make Plans, God Laughs….THIS is the beginning

  1. Great to hear about, never know the whole story :)

  2. Heather Price on said:

    Another great post! Your voice shines through the typed text–I can hear you telling the story!

    • Sara Koert on said:

      thanks! makes me feel better about the not so perfect english and grammer part :) writing how I would say it is SO much faster hehe.

  3. Soooo, I’m the cool calm collected sister number 2, right?

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