Choosing a Melody

There are all sorts of lullaby’s out there. In fact  on a Pandora station I found that plays lullaby’s I heard multiple “Journey” songs remade into lullaby’s  Ha. I have found, recently, that not only do I sing/hum lullaby’s frequently, but that I am singing them almost CONSTANTLY. They may be the most frequent words I say the whole day. Pascal seems to love the sound of my singing voice (ahem, don’t flatter yourself Mom), and so I use an upbeat version of my singing for his fun awake times, a softer melodious version for his “i’m getting sleepy” walks we take around the house, and a soft humm for the times he is basically asleep in my arms needing an extra “push” into dreamland. I have solid old favorites like “You are my sunshine” that I always go to. I use “I’ll love you forever, like you for always, as long as i’m living my baby you’ll be” for special moments because I sang that to him every day at the hospital. I have random songs that pop in my head like “we all live in a yellow submarine”, and always “Dancin’ in the moonlight” for his awake times as I hold his little hand and dance him around the room. During the Christmas season I found humming “we three kings” made him drift off to sleep very quickly when he was in his carrier on me as I did dishes. There are two songs though that I have been singing to him since he got home, the songs that seem to pop into my head first when I have a song in my heart, and when I want to quietly soothe him. I would have thought they would be some of the awesome new christian songs I sang with on the radio to and from work for hours, or some sweet Civil Wars song that makes my heart melt, but they are 2 choruses I had started singing at church when I was a little girl that seem to linger longer and more deeply than the rest: I Love you Lord, and Sanctuary. These are the words: “I love you Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship you, Oh, my soul, Rejoice! Take joy my King, in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet, sound, in your ear,” and “Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tride and true. With thanksgiving I’ll be living for you.”  It took me a few times of singing them to realize the importance of those songs, those words that are sung to my son every single day and hidden in my heart. I could sing all sorts of songs, but I love that the Lord has lead me to those, because even in the dead of night when I’m exhausted and I just want to lay down, I have the opportunity to praise the Lord. When i’m rocking P for the 10th time that day wishing him to sleep because, “come on sweet child you are so tired, just drift to sleep!” I get to be reminded that I am to be a sanctuary for the Lord, living this moment of my life for him, even though it may seem an insignificant and even annoying moment. I get to speak the name of the Lord into Pascal’s life every day, not that he knows it, but I do, and his little brain is taking in everything I say and do every moment of the day. It’s a reminder that for the rest of Pascal’s life what I speak to him matters. I have been given this child by the Lord to point to Him…that is my purpose now, and even my lullaby choices can make a difference in his life, especially by how they are changing my attitude by reducing my weariness. I think my Savior has revealed to me in this small way that he dwells within me, and that even in the songs I sing to my son he will lead me in the way of His Grace and I can trust Him. How comforting it is to me to have the strength given to me at 3 am to have thankfulness when I open my eyes to it, because thankfulness truly begets Joy.


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